Scientists have come up with 30 characteristics that a manipulator usually has. However, that doesn’t mean that anyone who finds a characteristic or two from the list in his behavior is a master manipulator.
In fact, you can have up to 6 of them and still be found not guilty. It shows that we are all human and sometimes we make mistakes. That said, we all need to be aware of these traits to avoid being manipulated without even realizing it.
We have put together a list of things handlers do to help you avoid them.
They Pick Fights Over Petty Stuff
It is common behavior for manipulators to be nice and agreeable at the beginning of the relationship, but then they start arguing about things that don’t even matter.
Basically, they are aware that people try to avoid conflict, so by being aggressive they make sure that you give up easily. These people always want to be in control, even in the smallest aspects of their life.
What you can do: Always remember that you are in charge of your life and make sure you have the opportunity to choose what is good for you. Set your limits and don’t let anyone violate them.
You Feel Like You’re Not Listening To Your Intuition
If you constantly feel like you’re doing something you’d rather not do, you may be being manipulated. In this situation, it’s important to listen to yourself and understand exactly what you’re not comfortable with and why you’d rather convince yourself that everything is okay than try to solve the problem. It may be because you don’t want to cause a problem or are afraid of being rejected.
What you can do: Always trust your gut and don’t be afraid to tell other people that you wish things were different. If they really like you, they will have this conversation calmly and you will be able to find common ground.
They Use Relationships As Bait
Manipulative people will make you feel like you have to constantly prove that you love them (by doing exactly what they want, of course). They may use phrases like “If you loved me, you…” in an attempt to convince you that you’re not doing enough for them and that you should feel guilty about it.
What you can do: Make sure your needs and wants are as important as those of your partner, family member, or friend. And if you feel that there is no balance, change things.
They Don’t Say What They Want Directly
People who use manipulative tactics love mind games. They misrepresent what you say, put words in your mouth or openly lie to you. This form of communication gives them a sense of intellectual superiority over others.
Also, if you’re not communicating directly, it’s easier to convince people that you didn’t say something or that the other person just didn’t understand you.
What you can do: Insist on clear and honest communication instead of implying things and trying to read their minds.
You Lose Your Privacy
It’s not uncommon for managers to doubt everything you’ve said and done. For example, they may call you to verify that you are where you need to be or even start tracking your phone activity, reading your emails, etc.
You may notice a double standard here because these people are usually secretive and tend to keep a lot of things from you.
What you can do: This is another area where you need to set limits and stick to them. Make sure your privacy is well respected, as it should be.
You Feel Humiliated
That’s another thing manipulators do: they try to make you think they’re better than you are so you think you need them in your life more than you really do. One form of such behavior is cruel humor: they try to put you down and make you feel insecure about having a feeling of psychological superiority.
What you can do: Remember that you don’t have to put up with cruel humor because “it’s just a joke.” Make sure you are appreciated and respected by the people around you, and if not, you have every right to leave.
Have you noticed any of these traits in your loved ones? What did you do to solve this problem?