Despite the development of social media, loneliness is turning into something of a pandemic now. About 50% of adults have difficulty finding a partner. We decided to find out what are the reasons that prevent people from building long and harmonious relationships.
We will tell you 6 of the most popular reasons why people feel lonely, using popular movies as examples.
Why Some People Can’t Find Love
You Idealize The Relationship
Everyone has their own idea of the perfect relationship – someone could have been inspired by a romantic movie and someone else could have been inspired by a book. But the dream that people have is this: to make these love stories come true.
Example: Unfortunately, sometimes illusions are destroyed by reality, as used to be the case with Bridget Jones. There is no ideal relationship and there are no perfect partners.
What to do: You must understand that your partner is a real person, not a character from a book. So as you watch them in the relationship, realize that they may have their flaws just like anyone else.
YYou Don’t Have Self-respect
Respecting yourself and other people is the foundation of any relationship, including a romantic one. Can you really love a person who doesn’t respect themselves? This connection will likely be based on feelings of guilt and will not do either of you any good.
Example: Kate Winslet’s character in The Holiday had a crush on a person who used her because of her loyalty and talent. Everything changed when she firmly decided to get rid of the addiction to love. She changed her environment, the people around her, she found new interests, and found a new love.
What to do: At first, you need to find your own inner support to help you when you are sad and depressed. It can be your accomplishments, your hobbies, your knowledge or your guiding principles, anything that is important to you, and anything that helps you see your own worth. Don’t let anyone make you doubt your importance.
You Violate Other People’s Private Space
There is an opinion that manipulation techniques can help repair a relationship. But nobody likes to be manipulated, or worse when someone tries to change us.
Example: Rosamund Pike’s character in Gone Girl wanted to punish her husband for cheating so much that she made him her puppet, forcing him to go through more and more challenges. Of course, after her return, she realized that her husband’s love and trust were gone and that she feared for her own life.
What to do: In any relationship, you must act within certain limits. They end where other people’s limits begin. If you don’t like your partner’s behavior and they know it, but you still don’t want to change anything, you must make a decision: stay with them or leave. Changing a person who does not want to change is impossible.
You Can’t Forgive
We all make mistakes, and you probably do too. But sometimes when you make a mistake, you can’t regain confidence, even when you’re absolutely sure it will never happen again. We are often too strict when judging other people and not strict enough when judging ourselves.
Examples: Rachel on Friends had a hard time forgiving Ross’s betrayal. They have been attracted to each other for every season, but only after almost 10 years did they forgive each other and get back together.
What to do: Don’t try to force yourself to accept things you don’t agree with, but at the same time it can be beneficial not to judge. Even if you are extremely offended by what the other person has done, if you are involved in the relationship, let them try again. Give them another chance.
You Are Not Ready For A Relationship
We are used to treating love as the ultimate happiness and joy. But sometimes it’s more important for people to deal with more pressing issues before getting into a relationship.
Example: This is one of the ideas from the movie Wild which is based on Cheryl Strayed’s autobiography. A girl walked 1,800 km on her own to overcome the divorce, the loss of her mother, and find peace with herself. Later, she ended up getting married in the same place where her path ended.
What to do: Sometimes you just need to be alone to fix what’s wrong and find happiness, especially before starting a relationship again. Sometimes this can be better than leaning on someone’s shoulder when they are having a difficult time. This is how you develop your will.
You Are Fixated On Yourself
Selfish people are believed to be one of the main reasons people break up. If a person thinks only of themselves and their own needs, it can really kill the love between them and their partner. Even if that person thinks they are doing something for the good of the couple.
Example: The only reason the girl’s behavior in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days did not push the boy off was that he was trying to win a bet and stay in the relationship for as long as possible. In fact, he fell in love with her when she forgot her “wishes” and became a normal person.
What to do: Selfish people need to understand that the world does not revolve around them, especially if they want a successful relationship.
What do you think prevents people from finding a partner?