Hannah and I were co-workers at one of the most famous hotels in New York. We work side by side, twelve hours a day, six days a week.
Hannah and I got along, but neither of us was attracted to each other. We didn’t have many interests in common, so I never thought of her as someone I’d like to date in the early days of our relationship. But my feelings for her have changed.
Our romance didn’t last, but that initial experience triggered the realization that attractiveness encompassed more than physical beauty.
A beautiful face or a sculpted body may attract attention, but the way you act and carry yourself draws people in long after an initial burst of passion.
Not everyone will find these behaviors attractive. But I’ve found over the decades that people who exhibit these qualities find themselves admired, respected, and often desired.
Qualities That Make You Attractive
7. Be Willing To Do Your Own Thing Even When It’s Not Popular
It wasn’t that Hannah challenged the clique leadership to go to a jazz bar that interested me. No, she did, although she made her unpopular, and she did it with fearless confidence. She resisted pressure from her peers and didn’t care what she looked like.
Of course, sometimes it is necessary to compromise or give in to maintain group cohesion. Stubbornness is not an attractive quality.
But pursuing your interests and expressing your individuality increases your fascination, especially when you do so in the face of disapproval.
6. Don’t Get Involved In Petty Nonsense
If you observe group politics from afar, you will often see intriguing behavior. The group seems to argue and worry about the most insignificant nonsense.
It’s human nature, I think, and we all succumb to it from time to time. As an observer, it is almost comical.
But if you’ve ever been in a relationship with someone who’s gossiping and stressed out over trivial nonsense, you know how unattractive it becomes.
The attractive one recognizes pettiness and avoids it; they stay above the fray and get involved only to make amends when relationships start to deteriorate. They are the ones you count on to stay cool when everyone gets hot.
5. Remember The Finer Details
Remembering a birthday doesn’t make it attractive; everyone expects it from you. To stand out, be the person who has a habit of remembering strange interests and dark details.
The attractive person does more than remember; They will read this story about Greek mythology and then send you a quick note.
“Hey, I remember you told me you’re a fan of Greek mythology. I came across this article and thought it might interest you.”
When you remember small details about someone’s life and use that information carefully, you show that person that they are important to you.
4. Defend The Unwanted
When I was in the eighth grade, we moved to a new school district. I didn’t make any friends in my first year. The Bullies saw me as a low-risk target: anyone could torment me without fear of retaliation or objection from others.
There was one exception, an older girl who became my first crush. When present, she would embarrass the Bullies until he stopped.
Maybe it’s just my experience, but since then, I’ve found this to be one of the most attractive qualities. Be the brave soul that stands up for others. Double points if you’re the first of the crowd to do this.
3. Be Comfortable Being Alone
A teenager or young man in their twenties may not find this attractive, but I think most people over forty because it says something important about a person.
A partner who is comfortable being alone probably won’t depend on you when you start dating. They will give you a distance to do your own thing and express your individuality. They will likely enjoy personal activities, which adds to their intrigue.
A person who cannot be alone probably has problems that we would like to avoid in a spouse. So yeah, it may not be that we older folks find this trait appealing. Maybe it just eliminates one source of appeal.
2. Recognize And Validate The Good In Others
Compliments can be very attractive or disgustingly unattractive. Have you ever met someone who praises you just for manipulating or controlling a situation? This type of behavior, even for physical beauty, can make anyone ugly.
But praising someone when it’s justified, sincere, specific, and devoid of personal benefit makes you charming.
Avoid generic compliments like you have beautiful eyes. Praise someone for something they do or have some control over.
If you can validate someone’s skill, taste, or preferences, it will have a more significant impact. Make your compliment very specific; It is useful to note that you have noticed the effort they put into improving themselves or doing something.
I like the way you silenced that guy who tried to trap you in a contradiction, great use of reverse questioning. I can see that you worked hard to master this technique.
1. Let Your Actions Advertise Your Greatness
Our culture allows self-promotion. In business, it’s a necessary component, but bragging about your greatness rarely attracts romantic partners or friends. Above all, it makes us too angry.
Those who don’t talk about their accomplishments and good deeds radiate calm self-confidence. They feel that it is enough for them to know that they have done a kind deed or done something impressive; they don’t need external validation to feel good about themselves.
Do great things, but avoid bragging about your accomplishments. The braggart repels, but the humble one attracts.