When we were children, many of us did not consider our parents as our friends, since they were more concerned with taking care of us. The dynamic changes as you get older because they want to be nice and have a good connection with you.
Before you get down on the road to being best friends with your parents, you may need to set some boundaries and resolve any unresolved issues from the past.
However, with a little effort, befriending your parents can be a possibility.
Here are some tips for building a strong bond with your parents.
Celebrate your uniqueness.
Yes, you adopted your parents’ beliefs as you grew from child to adult, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t different from them in many ways. Your generation is different, so you may have different views on various topics.
Acknowledging that you are different from your parents and that you have goals, desires, and preferences that may differ from what they have for you is the first step.
Be your unique self.
You may have had to follow your parents’ wishes when you were younger, so you may not have much of a say in expressing your wishes for the relationship. They were in control because they were the adults, but now that you’re an adult, you’re on your own.
Allow yourself to be open and honest about what you want, as if you really want to see them every few days or as often as feels right.
Don’t try too hard
You generally have high expectations for your children, but even if you feel pressured to succeed at all or when you grow up, like throwing away good grades at school,
it is crucial to keep in mind that now you need to make decisions that are right for you.
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to impress your parents; you are important too.
Let them be who they are.
You need to accept that your parents may act in ways you don’t necessarily understand in order to maintain a healthy connection with them.
However, you must also allow them to be who they are. Just because you’re an adult now doesn’t mean you should treat them like children.
Set some sensible limits.
Setting some boundaries for how your relationship will play out as an adult can be helpful, even if you and your parents don’t usually take offense or have heated arguments.
For example, if you think you are visiting without your consent, you may want to discuss your expectations for how you will spend your time together.
Only forgive what you can.
You made mistakes and you weren’t flawless, and you still aren’t, if your parents are like 100% of the other parents in the whole world.
It may be beneficial to focus on repairing previous scars as you work toward a healthy connection with your parents.