Studies show that about 60% to 70% of adults have been a ghost of someone at some point in their life. Whether it’s a relationship or an acquaintance, confrontation seems to be the hardest way to go about things for many people.
But what is “ghost” and why this phenomenon appears is what really interests us. We have put together some reasons that can help you recognize and avoid this situation. We do our best to explore the ins and outs of how people relate to each other, so this topic is right up our alley.
What It Means To Ghost Someone
To talk about the subject of ghosting, why people become ghosts, and what ghosting means to someone, we need to talk about the concept and what that word really means. If ghosting makes you think of a ghost suddenly disappearing, you’re really close.
By definition, “ghosting” refers to the act of suddenly interrupting all conversations with a certain person, without giving that person a reason or even letting them know that you want to interrupt.
Basically, don’t text a person to let them know you’d like to stop talking to them. This is not only true in romantic relationships, but also in platonic ones.
Why People Ghost, Instead Of Facing The Situation
As with all actions that people do towards another person, there are always reasons why people choose to ghost someone in or out of a relationship. The ghost usually appears because a person does not like confrontation, or simply out of laziness and convenience.
Convenience: People tend to choose ghost over face-to-face confrontation as it is the “easy way out”. Instead of explaining to a certain person why you would like to end the relationship, cutting off all contact with them, or concentrating on yourself without having to explain it to anyone, some people find it easier to disappear. This, in turn, leaves the person quite confused as they cannot figure out the real reason for having been left “on reading”.
Mental state: Believe it or not, the ghosting says more about the ghosting person than the person being ghosted. One factor is a mental state. Ghosting involves strategies that can show that someone has an avoidant attachment style: avoiding all kinds of emotional closeness.
Psychology professor Tara Collins explains that: “People who don’t like to be emotionally close are probably more prone to ghosts,” and this definitely sheds a little more light on the state of mind of a person who chooses ghosting over other options.
How To Recognize Someone Might Be Ghosting You
The biggest reveal of someone’s intent to deceive you is if their messages are getting fewer and fewer. Most of the time, the reason for this is being “too busy” to respond or carry on the conversation, but that couldn’t be more wrong. In fact, there are situations where people may be telling the truth, but most of the time they are not.
So if you think you’re doing everything you can to keep the conversation going, but it doesn’t seem like they are trying as hard as you are, that means they are probably no longer interested, and therefore may be looking for a way out.
What To Do To After Someone Ghosted You
Ghosting can really have a profound impact on someone, and it can hurt a lot. In case you have been through something like that, here is a point dedicated to what you can do if you find yourself in a ghost situation.
The main thing you have to focus on is yourself. This may be obvious however as mentioned above ghosting can leave you quite confused and from this, you may overthink the situation or find things wrong with yourself. This is the first step: if someone has cheated on you, don’t think you are to blame. Most likely you are not.
Most of the time, the person who is ghosting someone has a lot of issues within them that they may not know how to deal with and therefore not know about. It’s okay to feel sad, and it’s also natural. But don’t blame yourself for that. As the experts themselves say: “It is better to attribute it to incompatibility and know that you have a better match is out there for you.”
How to avoid ghosting people
The most important thing when it comes to not ghosting on someone is simply communication. Instead of disappearing and not giving the person a real reason why you’d like to stop talking to them, try to be honest with them. There are many ways to tell a person that you’re not really interested, whether it’s platonically or romantically.
Don’t just disappear. Explain your reasons, whether it’s laziness to keep the conversation going or sheer disinterest. After all, we’re all human, and when someone takes time out of their day to sit down and talk about a difficult situation, it really means a lot. So try this the next time you’re scared of a confrontation or feeling lazy.
Have you ever ghosted someone? Or have you ever been a ghost? What did you do in this situation?