The reality is that a narcissist who far away has little or no capacity for love. They may feel infatuated and obsessed, but that does not fall under the umbrella of love.
Narcissists believe they love others, but if you ask them why they love someone, the answer will often be a list of things that person does for them. It is usually not a list of things about the person himself.
The deplorable narcissist loves no one, not even himself.
As a result of self-hatred, they cannot love anyone else. They also cannot imagine that someone could love them. Sharing love for a narcissist is like loving a character on a television show. This is not a real person.
A narcissistic partner will not be able to love you properly. This is not a “normal” relationship that is respectful and considerate, but simply devoid of constant affection.
That is living in a war zone with someone who is at risk of trying to sabotage aspects of your life. Not only do they not love you, but they are pathologically and even obsessively jealous of you and everything you might have.
Why should you have things they don’t? They go to great lengths to take these things away from you. If they can’t have it, nobody can.
Narcissists are not just cold and empty. They are burning hells of anger, hate, and jealousy. Most of it is directed at themselves, but they are content to project it in a vain attempt at some relief. And the people they lead are the closest to them.
The narcissist not only doesn’t love you, but most people don’t think of you as a person either. This explains his behavior.
Bad apples have punching bags on which to vent their anger and frustration. Narcissists often use other human beings in this way but take it to another level: malicious and exploitative.
There is no give-and-take in this type of relationship. There is only a take. There is no understanding, little or no support. It’s about what they need and what they want.
Make any attempt to change the focus of it and problems will be almost inevitable. Unless it piques the narcissist’s interest, nothing you say or do matter.
Anyone who has dealt with a narcissist knows that these things are true. Abuse, lies, emotional blackmail, constant disturbance of people’s lives, destruction of their peace, non-stop creation of disasters and catastrophes, irresponsibility, childishness, endless arguments, total disrespect, and total disregard for the feelings of others… It’s ugly. . And it is torture.
People only matter to narcissists as long as they can add value to them. Once someone’s usefulness is gone, the “feelings” the narcissist had for that person are gone with them. Feelings for others are superficial and only extend to the extent that the person engages with the narcissist.
Anything beyond that doesn’t matter. For the narcissist, that doesn’t even exist. They are like the hub of a wheel, and the people are the spokes. They see everything and everyone as an extension of themselves in one way or another.
Everything flows from them and to them. They are the sun around which all other things revolve. Not just the brightest star, but the only star.
There are many people who suffer in relationships and keep hoping that things will change.
But the reality is that the odds are close to 0%. Due to the damaged way they view other people, it is not possible for narcissists to love others.