The need for approval can be traced back to ancient times. Our ancestors lived in communities and if someone were evicted, it would be incredibly difficult to survive alone as conditions were difficult.
That’s when we developed the habit of seeking approval. While this behavior is natural for us, it still makes our lives worse. We want to help you if you are sick of constantly pleasing people.
Take A Break From Social Media
Posting on social media is a form of self-validation. Each post is intended to attract attention and is of no practical value. It takes a long time to find the perfect angle, pose, and light. In any case, social media turns you into someone who craves the approval of strangers.
A person with low self-esteem seeking approval can only post mounted photos taken by a professional photographer. They dress up to the nines, apply thousands of filters and carefully choose their clothes only to post a photo with the caption: “I’m home, bored.”
In addition, social networks also force us to give up our privacy to enjoy. Disconnect from social media for at least a while. In this way, you will be able to understand what you really need and how you want to live your life.
Enjoy the moments you spend with your loved ones without having to prove anything.
Don’t Compare Yourself To Others
This is the biggest trap we’ve all fallen into at least once. According to the theory of social comparison, humans tend to compare, always looking for the best.
This explains why we evolved in the first place. It’s healthy when comparison rarely happens, however, if that’s the only thing your mind is busy with, then there’s a problem.
We lose ourselves when we begin to compare our achievements with those of others. Once caught in the vicious cycle, you feel depressed and worthless.
All your happy moments are not so good anymore and everything you have accomplished is minimized. The best way to stop comparing yourself to others is to find out what makes you so insecure. Once identified, you are ready to work on it.
Do Things With Diligence And Fervor
In the previous point, we learned that comparison can trigger a journey of self-improvement. Now is the time to work hard to feel better. The more free time you have, the more petty thoughts and unimportant matters will enter your life.
It is very easy to start worrying about what others think of you when you have nothing better to do.
Focus on the things you love, whether it’s cooking or playing the guitar. Hard and fruitful work increases your self-esteem and eliminates the need to seek approval. Work gives you that meaning that you might be looking for on social media.
Make Decisions By Yourself
If you’re the one always looking for approval, you’re probably tempted to put other people’s opinions first. However, you must understand that most people are not even sure about their own lives, much less yours.
It can also seem like a wrong decision will ruin your relationships, thus giving others the power to decide for you. This act of pleasing people is especially common in teenagers.
Your friends or family may be wonderful people, but they still don’t know your life as well as you do. So the next time you are about to ask someone for their opinion, first try to listen to their heart and mind. Otherwise, there will always be a trace of disappointment in your life.
One of the reasons we seek approval is fear of rejection. This is why you always make excuses for other people’s unacceptable behavior. You know that to be loved and accepted you always have to follow certain expectations. When you stop doing that, you are deprived of that love and end up feeling miserable.
The best thing you can do here is to realize that it is impossible to please everyone. It sounds simple, but a lot of people don’t get it. Start with a few little things first. For example, refuse to go anywhere if you don’t want to and suggest a different location.
It will be difficult at first, but practice makes perfect.
Are you trying to get someone’s approval? If not, how do you avoid needing it?
Preview photo credit Supernatural / Warner Bros. Television, Supernatural / Warner Bros. Television
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