Breakups can really break women’s hearts. But a group of brilliant minds has recently learned that men can be more devastated than their partners after a breakup. Men are also more emotional when it comes to talking about their heartache (yes, they talk about that too). And these intriguing findings are part of a relationship study conducted by psychologists.
These findings piqued our curiosity, so we decided to take a look at the report and share its highlights with you.
Men Are More Likely To Seek Relationship Help Online
For data collection, the scientists analyzed the posts of more than 184,000 people on Reddit (a large online discussion forum), specifically in the community labeled “r/relationships.”
Their findings revealed that about 55% of users who asked for help with their love problems were men, while only about 45% were women.
The results also revealed that “heartache” was the most common topic in the posts. Other topics such as time, personal qualities, trust, and intimacy were also discussed in the forum.
The researchers believe that anonymity on the platform helped the men freely express their emotions.
Researchers Believe That Anonymity On The Platform Helped Men Freely Express Their Emotions:
The outdated stereotype of masculinity, or the idea that “guys don’t cry,” has somehow affected the way guys handle their feelings.
As one Reddit user put it on a different forum, “Guys shouldn’t express sadness or be upset, so we generally keep it to ourselves because we have to. None of our friends want to know how much shit sucks and that we wish we had done things differently, etc. “
The team said that the “anonymous, convenient, and widely accessible nature” of Reddit allowed the men (who were mostly young men) to reveal their souls.
Women, on the other hand, are more likely to seek face-to-face help or go to therapy.
Men Were More Emotional About Their Heartaches Compared To Women
That might get attention, but according to the team’s scientific data, the guys discussed topics ranging from heartaches, dating, parties, and personal qualities.
Meanwhile, the ladies spoke more about their concerns in terms of abuse, finances, distance, and housework.
Charlotte Entwistle, the lead author of the study, said: “The fact that men discuss heartache more often emphasizes how men are at least as emotionally affected by relationship problems as women.”
The researchers also noted that most of the children sought support while the problem was still in its early stages. Girls, on the other hand, tended to ask for help when the crisis was already severe.
Men Appeared To Be More Confident In Their Relationships Than Women
The language used by each gender also revealed certain patterns. The women reportedly used more self-centered language (words like “me”) and had more negative emotions in their posts.
This led them to believe that the women were primarily in a state of preoccupied attachment, an attachment style characterized by self-doubt, often resulting in insecurity and anxiety.
In contrast, men used the pronoun “we” more, along with words of affiliation and positive emotions. Signs consistent with a secure attachment state, which implies trust and positive feelings about the relationship.
However, it is also important to note that the users identified with the disdainful attachment state, or those who do not value relationships, were mostly men.
The Researchers Hope That These Findings Will Correct Certain Negative Stigma About Men
Lead researcher Dr. Ryan Boyd believes the study challenged common ideas about gender differences when it comes to heterosexual relationships.
She said, “When you remove the traditional social stigmas against men for seeking help and sharing their emotions … they seem just as committed to overcoming difficulties in their relationships as women.”
What do you think of the study’s findings? What other gender stereotypes do you think should be broken or reconsidered?
