There is a growing trend towards a social phenomenon known as “LAT” (living apart together), where couples, married or single, choose to live separately. The reasons for choosing to live this way vary and each person’s love language is different.
The most important thing to remember is that you are both happy and agree with whatever choices you make. But experts pointed out that a lifelong partnership is no longer a very common desire, according to a study.
We want to understand why many prefer this type of relationship and we are sure that.
They Have The Freedom They Want
They have a greater sense of autonomy, which gives them the so-called “space to breathe.” They have their own living spaces and do what they want, maintaining an intimate relationship with a partner as long as they both agree.
“You are not together by default. To spend time together, you need to agree to this and usually have an activity planned, whether it’s a museum date, cooking, or watching your favorite Netflix show. Very little is said about housework, chores, or the mundane trivia of everyday life. And obviously, there are no fights over them. There is no need to compromise how you use living space. If you want to host a party, entertain your friends, or hang up art, you can. “
They’re Simply “not Ready” To Cohabit
Some think it’s “too early” in the relationship to move, study shows. Some couples may be afraid to commit to sharing their living space with another human being. And it can happen due to bad experiences in the past.
“As someone who never intended to share my living space or my finances with anyone, this is the only way to have a relationship. Personally, I have never met anyone who is happy with this kind of long-term setup. “
They Depend On Jobs Or Studies In Different Locations
They are restricted for independent reasons, such as one of the partner’s jobs or studies. When it comes to younger couples, living apart is often due to financial reasons as well.
However, a study showed that in Eastern Europe, a LAT association is more common between educated and highly educated couples.
They see it as an alternative living arrangement to the traditional norm of marriage.
“My fiancé decided that instead of looking for a new apartment, he wants us to move in with our parents. We are high school sweethearts and have been together for 5 years. He believes that he will be better financially. He will live about 30 minutes from me, and I am a full-time student and I work 30 to 35 hours a week, while he works full time. This change is strictly for financial reasons and we do not plan to separate. “
Older Couples Need Their Space Apart
A large percentage of people who choose LAT are older couples who decide, after many years together, to find a place for themselves
. Or maybe they are in a situation where they are starting a new relationship after ending a long marriage.
They want an intimate company, but at the same time, they want to maintain their own homes, their own social circles, and usual activities, in addition to their finances.
“I suggested that I stay at our summer house and come home several times a month. We are both retired and our children have grown up. We had slept apart about a year before due to snoring and a need for different mattresses. Nothing has changed in our finances, we talk or exchange emails every day and decide together when I need to go home for things that come up. We are more partners and good friends than husband and wife. But it has kept our marriage together.”
They Don’t Want To Overcomplicate Things When A New Partner Comes Along
This way of life is often preferred by people who have been married, have had unhappy marriages, and/or have children from previous relationships.
They don’t want to be tied back by a new partner, and a little distance is more appropriate. In fact, they can spend more quality time together than if they lived in the same house.
“In fact, I know several older couples (people over 40) who have happy LAT relationships. They find themselves at a time in their lives where they want a committed partner, but they don’t want to deal with all the hassles and stress of living together. Most of them are divorced and just don’t want to fight over things like shared finances, housework, and decorating. It seems to work fine for them! “
What do you think of these couples who love each other but live apart? Are you part of a LAT relationship?