If you are indecisive, often blame yourself, and have low self-esteem, it could be a sign that you were raised by narcissistic parents. These parents are controlling, often blaming others for their mistakes and making their children feel bad if they don’t do what is expected of them.
We think it’s important to recognize these signs because if you were raised by a narcissistic parent, understanding this can help you find a way to heal yourself.
Signs Someone Was Raised by a Narcissist
You Never Feel Good Enough
Narcissists feel more important and better than others. And they want their children to look the same ideal, so they look better in the eyes of others. By behaving the way your parents want you to behave, you can earn their love, which depends on you fulfilling their expectations and wishes.
You can get stuck in a never-ending cycle of trying to earn that love by doing what they want, and you may feel like you’re never doing enough because the love you receive is only temporary and is not the same as unconditional love.
Your parents may also have constantly criticized you because you were never able to do exactly what they were told. Or maybe they were, but they weren’t satisfied with the result of the reaction of others.
This feeling of never doing enough or not being good enough can carry over into adulthood and affect other relationships and your self-esteem.
You’re Afraid To Voice Your Opinions
If your opinion did not agree with your father’s, it was probably met with aggression and led to punishment. If you did not agree with your parents on something or were upset by the way they treated you, they would not accept it and even deny love.
As an adult, it can be difficult for you to challenge others and speak up because of this.
You Might Have Problematic Relationships
You may notice that some of the relationships you have are unsatisfactory and may even be toxic. For example, because narcissistic parents often control their children and don’t know their limits, you may find yourself in a codependent relationship.
You may even find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist as well because it can be difficult to choose someone completely different from what you knew as a child.
It Might Be Hard For You To Become Independent
Narcissistic parents like to control their children. They want them to do things a certain way because they believe that only they know what is right. So they make all the decisions for you, and once you become an adult, it can be difficult for you to finally start thinking for yourself and doing things your way.
And narcissistic parents don’t want you to become more independent, because then they will lose the only person in your life that they could control out of love and praise.
You Might Feel Like You Don’t Know Who You Are
You may not know what your interests and needs are or what you really want in life. That’s because as a kid you were discouraged from exploring yourself. You couldn’t be yourself because your parents already decided for you what you should be.
You Might Have Anxiety
When you were a child, you probably felt anxious about your parents. You always had to make sure you were doing everything the way they wanted, otherwise they might yell at you or punish you.
This anxiety can stick with you later in life and carry over to other relationships.
Do you recognize yourself or know someone in any of these situations? Do you have any advice for people who were raised by narcissistic parents?
