Psychologists say that some words may seem harmless to those who speak them, while deeply offending those they are addressed to. That is why we must always think before we speak.
We came up with some ideas on how to replace various phrases that you shouldn’t say out loud.
Phrases Intelligent People Never Say
You Were Too Good For Him!
Why You Shouldn’t Say This:
It seems to be a general phrase to console a girl who’s just broken up with her boyfriend. However, it’s partly an insult to her taste and a recognition of her inability to truly see people: “What a guy you chose and wasted so much time on!”
It’s Better To Say:
He’s lost a lot.
You Look Great For Your Age!
Why You Shouldn’t Say This:
A perfectly neutral phrase — or so it seems. In fact, it’s more of a condescending comfort: “Next to other older people, you look okay by comparison.”
It’s Better To Say:
Wow! You look stunning!
I Keep Trying, But All In Vain!
Why You Shouldn’t Say This:
These are forgivable words for a 10-year-old child, not a grown-up person. It isn’t quite an adult to beg for emotional approval when you can’t get something done. It’s best either to state the aim as unachievable or change your tactics.
It’s Better To Say:
I try as hard as I can.
I Did It All By Myself!
Why You Shouldn’t Say This:
From birth, we’re surrounded by people who affect our development in many ways, and we shape our own views and draw conclusions from their influence. It’s inappropriate to neglect their help.
It’s Better To Say:
I’ve come so far thanks to my parents and those I love.
It’s Not Fair!
Why You Shouldn’t Say This:
Life isn’t fair. Deal with it. By complaining about small injustices you look naive and childish in the eyes of others. Get rid of this phrase, and replace it with something more appropriate.
It’s Better To Say:
For instance, if you think your boss made an unfair decision, you can politely ask,
What led to this decision? May I ask why it wasn’t me you chose?
Maybe What I’m About To Say Is Stupid, But…
Why You Shouldn’t Say This:
Remember: these words make others immediately think you’re not competent in the matter. They’re the worst way to start.
It’s Better To Say:
I’m not entirely sure of this, and I would like to hear your opinions.
I Told You So!
Why You Shouldn’t Say This:
It’s a phrase that only points at a person’s mistake, which no one likes. It’s best to encourage the person.
It’s Better To Say:
You won’t make the same mistake in the future.
Ah, I Had The Same Situation Too!
Why You Shouldn’t Say This:
It’s okay to say this if your friend has just returned a pair of shoes to the store because they didn’t fit. If they share a personal issue with you, don’t: they want to speak up, not listen to how it was with you.
It’s Better To Say:
Many people have been through this. You’ll cope with it, I’m sure.
You’re Making A Problem Out Of Nothing!
Why You Shouldn’t Say This:
At the very least because you can’t measure someone else’s problems.
It’s Better To Say:
Soon this trouble won’t be so bad as it seems now. You’ll be fine.
You Don’t Love Me!
Why You Shouldn’t Say This:
A phrase that can backfire at you. Hearing these words once, your partner will certainly do everything to assure you of the opposite; after a second time, they’ll ignore them; and after a third, they’ll start to wonder if you’re right.
It’s Better To Say:
I miss you.
